the lazy lady’s turtle ice cream pie

the process was inglorious. rushed and sloppy, with toppings too hot and a sticky puddle on the floor. The pie plate, see, doesn’t exactly fit through the freezer door that does not open entirely, so you must tilt it. If your filling is too melty then it sloops out the sides onto the veggie remanents waiting to become stock.

frozen overnight, however, it was removed without incident. Lost its looks but ice cream, caramel, chocolate, and – oh crunchy delight! – graham cracker crust, who cares what it looks like.

the messy part need not be your fate.

make a graham cracker crust, fancified with chopped nuts if you like. i was rushing, as noted, to prepare this for a kitchen warming that it never it made it too, so I bought one. Baked in its tin on a cookie sheet in a 375˚ oven for 7 minutes. Toasted a few handfuls of chopped pecans in a hot skillet on the stovetop.

run a hand mixer through two pints of vanilla ice cream. Aim for spreadable but not runny (my first mistake). Pour and smooth into the piecrust. Refrain from using all the ice cream; save some room for caramel and chocolate. Strew toasted pecans over the ice cream. Pop in the freezer for at least 3 hours, preferably overnight.

in a small heavy bottomed saucepan simmer together ¾ cup cream, ¾ cup brown sugar, and 3 table spoons of corn syrup. Let bubble undisturbed for 9 minutes or so. Whisk in 3 tablespoons of butter, vanilla and a bit of salt (or sprinkle about ¼ teaspoon nice sea salt over it after its made its way to pie). Let cool completely.

spread over frozen ice cream; keep some aside for sauce on slices. Stash in the freezer for at least 3 hours.

in a small heavy bottomed saucepan combine ¼ cup of cream, 3 ounces of bittersweet or dark chocolate, and 1 tablespoon of corn syrup (or not – I skipped it, but the chocolate gets crazy hard so spread it thin). Stir over low heat until melted and smooth. Add some vanilla and salt. Let cool. Spread or drizzle over the caramel.

return the whole shebang to the freezer, and leave it be overnight.

do as i say, not as i do.